you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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