I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
