just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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