im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
