Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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