Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
