so explain again why im purple
no
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
