And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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