How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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