you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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