he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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