Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry my hands just texted you
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
