I like my sex mixed with concussions.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
