hotel room ftw
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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