Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
