Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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