I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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