I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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