she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
