girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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