There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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