I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My feet surprised me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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