Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
