After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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