Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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