I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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