so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
