she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
