Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Rumble strips road head = magical
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
