ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
