My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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