oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
