Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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