Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
