I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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