I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
