yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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