Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
