But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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