I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I enjoy the company of your penis
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
