He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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