if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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