Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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