Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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