I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
