would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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