some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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