you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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