these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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