Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
