So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
